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To: Jesus
From: Katie Savage Subject: Last Weekend Dear Jesus,
To: Katie From: You Know Who Subject: Last Weekend It was quite the performance, no doubt. But I've got to think on this some more. |
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To: J
From:Katie XOX Subject: Hello J, are you out there? Jesus, If you're wondering why people don't memo you more often, I think it's cuz you just don't answer us enough. What's keeping you so busy up there anyway? A-wanna-believer To: AWB From:Mister J Subject: Hello J, are you out there? Yeah, uh, sorry about that. Even here, the servers get backed up. |
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To: Baby Jesus
From: Julie W. Subject: Cool Down could you tell the fundamentalists to chill? i mean you dont' have to but i'd appreciate it. |
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To: Baby Jesus
From:C Hardin Subject: Smiting request Is there anyway you can smite the program director at ESPN? I mean a spelling bee? Dont you think they torture us enough with table tennis, and poker? |
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To: Baby Jesus
From: R. Reed Subject: How Ya Been? How'ya been? What's it been 2000 years?!? What ever happened to those 12 dudes you used to hang out with? I can only remember 4 of them. And your old neighborhood has turned ghetto... I won't even go over there anymore. Oh yeah, after you "left", Mary M went back to her old ways. Anyway, hope all is well, sorry about the sinning. |
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To: Jesus
From: Kristen W. Subject: delayed Dear Jesus. I distinctly remember ..a number of years ago..you giving me the dream of flying. Now,,when i awoke..i asked you to make this happen in my "real life" so i was just wondering..when do i get to take off?? P.S you can just msn me..when you get the time. kiss, kiss. |
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To: Baby Jesus
From: Lauren R CC: Father Time Subject: Time Management I know you probably get this all the time, and I hate to be a pest, but can you please explain exactly why we can't get an 18-hour day? Just wondering. |
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To: Baby Jesus
From: Notta NuYorker CC: Mayor Bloomberg Subject: Real Estate Do you know how I can get affordable housing in New York? To: Notta From: Baby Jesus, Mayor Bloomberg Subject: Real Estate Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. |
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To: Baby J
From: Meebs CC: Mother Nature Subject: Spring has Sprung....or has it? Hi Baby J! Just wondering if you got the memo that Spring started last Saturday? That would include Chicago as well, however, I think we may be getting the short end of the stick here. Maybe it accidentally got attached to the memo about the TPS reports and you didn't actually see it. If you'd go ahead and let me know if you need another one, that would be um, greeeeeeaaaaaat. Meebs |
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To: Baby J
From: No-neck CC: Vishnu Subject: The Gym So, like....how much can you bench? |
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To: Baby Jesus
From: Love The Whip Subject: Yo Dear Baby Jesus Thank you for enlightening the fine fine god fearing folks at Yoplait. I ::heart:: lemon meringue Whipped yogurt. Signed: love the whip |
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To: Baby J
From: Concerned Citizen CC: Allah, God, Vishnu, Zeus and gang Subject: Hey Baby J Baby J, I was wondering if you ever see Buddha around? Cuz if you do, can you tell him we need him down here? |
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To: Baby Jesus
From: J. Martinez CC: God, Cupid Subject: Love When's the rulebook on this thing come out again? Cause right now, it's like a damn rugby scrum out there... |
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To: Baby Jesus
From: Random Guy on the Street CC: Casting Director, God, Whomever Subject: Extras Dear Baby Jesus, I saw the same woman three times today on my way home and she was never on the same bus or train with me. Please tell me You're not getting bored with making new people? Because it sure felt like You just used the same extra 3 different times in my life. |
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To: Baby Jesus
From: MTV CC: CBS, Justin Timberlake, Janet Jackson Subject: Wardrobe "Malfunction" Dear Baby Jesus: Good one! |
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From Your Lips to His Ears (e-mail Baby Jesus)